The light of the world brings peace to every mind through my forgiveness.
This has been an interesting round of lessons, this “ligfht of the world” theme that’s been developing since we finished our review. Today I felt drawn to this lesson even as I felt woefully inadequate to either understand it or bring it into application. Yet I felt oddly bolstered from my reading – and meditating on – the similes of salt and light yesterday. It reminded me that feelings of befuddlement or incompetentence have no bearing on the Truth, which does not need my permission to shine.
The temptation to feign humility with this lesson is very strong – what, little old me the “salvation of the world (W-pI.63.3:5)?” And yet mindful of the recent admonition not to confuse true humility with the arrogance of the ego, I came to this today with the willingness to give it a real try. What is there to lose? It’s funny because there are times when I feel such clarity and confidence with the Course and other times when it’s like another language, one I just started to study five minutes ago. Today was a lot of repetition of the lesson, followed by “I’m not really sure I’m with this one Jesus, but hey. If it works for God, it works for me.”
And that was really all. There was a level of comfort in simply showing up, in trusting that in some way the Spirit was at work. In fact, it was that word – “trust” – that seemed to show up most frequently in my thoughts. Trust is the key to solving all our problems, because when we are in a place of trust – when our trust is placed in Jesus, the Holy Spirit and in God – then we don’t have any problems. Over and over it occurred to to me that I didn’t know what to do – how to forgive, how to be truly humble, how to undo the ego . . . but the answer was always the same. Of course I don’t know. Of course the Holy Spirit knows.
When I accept that, there is peace. I was reminded of that line from the text somewhere – the secret to salvation is but this: that we are doing this to ourselves. When we release that activity – when we defer to the action generated by the Holy Spirit, when we choose the lens created by the Holy Spirit – then we are letting go of the need to be right, the need to control. This is antithetical in so many ways! Every time I do it I feel the need to jerk back the reins. Yet as time passes, I feel less and less inclined to try and run the salvation show. I begin to see that being appointed by God is enough – it is God working through me, not me telling God I’ve got it covered from here.
It’s the willingness that counts, the day-to-day undoing that can be so subtle we often don’t notice it. Yet it’s there, attended by peace.