It is important when giving attention to be aware of – attentive to – the sometimes subtle sense of expectation that attends. There is nothing good or bad about expectation, except that it becomes mischievous when we are unaware of it. I am not saying undo expectation. I am saying, simply be aware of when you are giving attention in hope of gaining this or that particular result.
Truth (or Reality or God or the Absolute, i.e., the divine et cetera) is not the product of a process. It does not progress or devolve or change in the slightest. It is not a reward given for particular behavior. It is not contingent or personal in any way. We are always already looking at it, albeit through filters of conditioning that are always renewing themselves, always justifying themselves, always amending themselves to be more acceptable to our evolving sense of self.
So all we are really doing by giving attention – which is simply one way to bring A Course in Miracles into application – is becoming aware of the obstacles to our “awareness of love’s presence,” which is our “natural inheritance.” These obstacles – which may be generally summed up as the idea there is an active and viable separate self opposed to God, opposed to Oneness – are undone as they are seen, or beheld through the lens of nonjudgmental, non-expectant attention.
There is nothing wrong with craving enlightenment, desiring awakening or longing for union with God, or what-have-you. These are natural extensions of the separated human mind. We all experience them to one degree or another, in one form or another. It is not necessary to deny them or heal them or do anything with or to them at all, other than to simply bring our attention to them. Let them be; attention will handle everything.
Attention is neutral. It is responsive in that we can direct it here and there, but it does not care to what it is given: a chickadee is as welcome as a chainsaw which is as welcome as a rotting apple. Birthday cakes and funerals are beheld equally. It is important to see this: this gift that was given to us (we did not create attention) is altogether impartial. If we just let attention be attention, it will take care of things just fine.
It is important to see this, because as we grow in our relationship to giving attention, it begins to dissolve a little into the broader (really, the infinite) field of awareness. Attention is just a dot within awareness. I am saying that as the various obstacles are undone, and as we deepen into the experience of the unattached and impersonal life, the “Godness” of what is reveals itself and we settle into it – not as an action (me doing this) but more in the nature of a realization. “Oh, so that is what I am.”
But that is to get ahead of things – to use the intellect and its attendance wordiness to project the ideal of awakening into the future. Right now my work is simply to give attention to what is, where what is includes my subtle, nearly hidden desire to wake up, where waking up is a spectacular event in time. The Truth is so much subtler and gentler than that! And thank God, too. Ordinary works for me now. Simple works.