A brief follow-up to my post of two days ago . . . Actually, there were a couple that day and both tapped into angst and confusion – and guilt – and made use of a hearty sincerity that borders on self-righteous. It’s one of the risks.
Anyway, I woke early yesterday and walked the dog, following fields to the old air strip. It was a nice morning – quiet, the moon skating between gathering rain clouds, but no rain yet – and, for whatever reason, without effort or reflection, I felt empty and peaceful.
As we rounded the corner – coming out of a copse of trees, passing a couple of ruined tractors – it occurred to me that the peace I felt had more in common with a gift than wages earned through righteous action undertaken in accord with a correct belief system.
Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. Perception is a result, not a cause (T-21.In.1:7-8).
When I got back home and settled into the morning rocker with my tea I said aloud, “I’m tired.” And initially my thought was, oh breathe you big drama queen. You’re not tired. You just got eight hours of sleep. But I realized that what was tiring me – weary is the word, really – was how hard I was trying to make sense of and manage the world.
And I heard very clearly Jesus say, yeah, that’s the problem really. You can’t make sense of what was made precisely to obscure sense. An insane world does not become sane via wishful thinking or better thinking. You can try and try but it ain’t gonna work.
I remembered lesson twelve from A Course in Miracles.
You think that what upsets you is a frightening world, or a sad world, or a violent world, or an insane world. All these attributes are given it by you. The world is meaningless in itself (W-12.1:2-4).
So a little peace steals in. So one adjusts, a gentle and slight shift toward the miracle. It’s okay. Baby steps are not a sign of weakness.