So we drift. This is something that happens to me. One day I’m there – I get it – I feel the deep peace – and then . . . I drift. This is resistance, of course, but of a different nature. It’s not in my face. It’s more subtle. It’s the ego sneaking in, taking little bites at the edge. We are all the way one with God or we aren’t. The ego’s goal is to keep some fragment for itself. That’s all it needs.
So we have to come back and recommit. Not back in the sense of space or time – we don’t have to reread yesterday’s lesson. We don’t have to go back to the zafu and repeat the meditation. But we do have to reconnect to that interior condition of awareness.
Somebody said to me the other day, I don’t know how to do that. And I responded, but you do. We all do. We simply choose not to.
It’s important to see that. Nothing happens to us that we don’t allow to happen. If we are apart from God, we have chosen against union with God. It’s not a crime. We aren’t going to be hunted down by angels and slaughtered. It’s just sad, because it hurts. We can be full of peace or we can be full of pain and we choose pain. It doesn’t make God happy. It doesn’t make God angry. It just hurts us. And since we want to be happy, and have every right to happiness, our decision to be sad is itself sad. That’s all.
Waking up happens in time. It’s a perceptual correction that we learn in time. It’s a process. It takes practice and discipline. Until it’s familiar, we have to be willing to risk the unfamiliar. We have to come to that place where we can sit with the idea that we are in God and that God is in us and that God is in all and is all. The lessons and the text make this possible. Practicing them does. We approach that knowing and we get as close as we can and we rest with it.
The ability to learn salvation is itself the gift of freedom. Freedom is the natural result of radical equality. There are no teachers out there and no students. There is no God mind and then our little mind. There is the one mind. There is only God. The ego curtails this, hems it in, throws up blocks. It has to because if all is one then it is nothing.
We are learning to be free – what my Buddhist friends call “liberation” or freedom from suffering. We are learning that there is nothing to hold on to, that our identity is the formless, suffused and all-encompassing love that A Course in Miracles refers to as God. But it’s just who we are in truth. It’s who we are when we relinquish the body and its stories.
We are given this gift by God and we give it to others by seeing them as God sees them. Not as separate bodies with their own separate stories, but as equal rays in the Light of the World. If we don’t believe that, we can be willing to believe it. We can practice it in the faith that we’ll be given to believe it.
When we drift away – from the Course, from our practice, from each other, from God – we simply have to reestablish the connection. We are always free to do this. It is the most natural thing there is, and the most helpful.