We’ve all had moments where we stop and ask ourselves: what do I want to do with my life? Usually this is related to work – finding a new job, or better career. Maybe we’re not happy with where we live or who we are living with. Maybe it’s just a more general abstract uneasiness – a sense that we were meant for something different, grander and more full of meaning. Time seems to be slipping away and our lives pass in boredom, apparent meaninglessness, even discomfort or suffering.
A better way to think about this question is to ask this question: what does God want me to do with my life? In other words, can we put aside our judgment, our insecurity, our general overall egoic stupidity and look at the problem differently? Sometimes this business of understanding our life’s purpose gets horribly clouded by our inability to step back and let God see it, let God call a few shots.
Earlier today, while reviewing one of the workbook lessons from A Course in Miracles, I ran across this lesson: “Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world.” The review goes on to remind me that I don’t really understand forgiveness yet, but that’s okay. As long as I’m willing to ask for help, I’ll get it. The important thing is reordering my idea of why I’m here – it’s not to be a nice guy, or a good father, or a prolific poet, or a helpful writer. Not that any of that is bad – it’s fine. It’s just not my function. My function is forgiveness.
That is so simple as to be almost infuriating, isn’t it? We want to be told what job to apply for, or what major to study, or what type of continuing education we need, or what kind of therapy makes the most sense. And Jesus is saying that none of that really matters. What matters is that we are practicing forgiveness – and we don’t even have to understand that or be good at it! We just need to be willing to try and to ask for help.
A Course in Miracles wants to steer our focus away from the world. It wants to decrease our reliance on the physical senses with their relentless focus on our safety, our comfort, our ideas of success and abundance and increase our reliance on spiritual sight – the fruits of forgiveness, of turning our lives over to the Holy Spirit. It doesn’t matter if we’re hair dressers or professors or the President of the United States. The external stuff is illusory and the internal stuff hinges only on forgiveness.
Why do we resist that? It’s not difficult. It’s like a get-out-of-jail-and find-peace card. God is removing the conflict of what to do from our lives. And yet that is so hard to accept. It’s like we want to be tormented. It’s like on some level that we don’t want to admit is real, we want to struggle and suffer.
But misery is optional. And forgiveness is the way to Heaven. Jesus makes it as simple and effortless as possible. All we have to do is let go and let him handle it.
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