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Getting Closer to Our Fear of Love

In his book Love is Letting Go of Fear, Gerald Jampolsky talks about our fear of love.

. . . we are often afraid of Love without consciously knowing it, and so we may act both deaf and blind to Love’s presence.

I think we could say – some of us – that A Course in Miracles is a learning tool that gently (though not always painlessly) raises our fear of love to consciousness. When we see it clearly, we are able to give it to the Holy Spirit in whose radiance it is simply shined away. But we have to give attention to it. We have to be willing to learn.

All healing is essentially the release from fear. To undertake this you cannot be fearful yourself. You do not understand healing because of your own fear (T-2.IV.1:7-9).

Of course, we don’t “give” something to the Holy Spirit the way we give our dogs a treat or send a bowl of soup back to the kitchen. We “give” by holding something in mind and allowing our whole mind – which includes the healed mind which is the Holy Spirit – to see it. This works for individuals we are angry at, for abstract problems like jealousy, and for so-called global problems like world hunger.

We have to face what is hidden. We have to look at what we keep secret. Only when we allow those fears to surface can we learn that they are not real and thus are without effect at all. When we look at our fear of love – or our fear of being replaced – or our fear of going hungry – they simply cannot be sustained. We learn that what we are in truth cannot go without love because it is love. And we learn that the Holy Instant is all the time there is and it is always – without exception or qualification – sufficient.

That plays out different for all of us because we are all projecting our own little horror show. Right now I’m getting clear on what I call a fear of love, which manifests as control issues: I want to write rather than talk, I want to be literary rather than chatty, I don’t want to be vulnerable here or there and so forth. It’s just the present form in which I am working out the simple truth that I am not separated from God. And when I am ready to accept that truth, then I will know only Love.

But until then, I – like you – am bound to the learning process. Today I put my arms around it. There is no other, no better way Home.

{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Cheryl October 22, 2013, 12:56 pm

    This equally terrified spiritual pilgrim raises her mug of (reheated) coffee in a toast to you.

    It’s good to KNOW — despite this fear of Love — that we all ARE Homeward Bound (and, yes, somehow a Simon & Garfunkel tune slipped in there.)

    As always…with gratitude for hitting the nail on the head once again. I would say you are a mind reader, but if I embrace what the Course says, we all are One mind, so that’s a no-brainer.

    • Sean Reagan October 22, 2013, 7:58 pm

      Love that song!

      Thanks Cheryl – I’m glad the post was helpful . . .

  • Susan October 22, 2013, 1:50 pm

    Sean: Loved the video. Thanks for stepping out of your comfort zone. It is a reminder to me that I need to take more risks. I know what those risks are and just need to do it. Find the courage and take action.

    • Sean Reagan October 22, 2013, 8:00 pm

      Thanks, Susan . . . courage is good, and so are friends to help us along the way! Thank you for reading & for your kind words . . .

  • Michael Stanford October 22, 2013, 4:13 pm

    Sean, what you are doing is of great help to all of us. I find my heart and mind ready to hear what I’m hearing from you and through you, as it mirrors my own inner journey. I can feel the waves of recognition and gratitude wash over and through me as I listen and read. You are helping to slowly dissolve the seeming gap that stands between us. I thank you for that!

    • Sean Reagan October 22, 2013, 8:01 pm

      You are welcome, Michael . . . thank you for being here & for sharing . . . it means a lot to me.

  • Bet Carbery October 24, 2013, 5:03 am

    Love the backdrop to your videos. How true – face those fears to see them for what they are (the bogeyman) but know that we are supported throughout.

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