A Space for God to Fill

It is not our job to undo the blocks to love. All we do is see them. We become aware of them and hold them in awareness just long enough for the healed mind to undo them. This is both easier and more difficult than it sounds..

It is easier because if we not buried whole hog in denial, there ought to be no shortage of material to work with in terms of blocks. When we get angry at a co-worker for chewing his gum too loud? That’s a block. Angry that our kid never cleans their room? That’s a block. Worried that our sweater doesn’t match our socks? Yes, that’s a block, too.

All our fretting and kvetching are blocks. Often this stuff seems so minor as to be almost silly. Sometimes it is heart-breaking and terrifying, such as the tidal wave of emotion that follows the death of a loved one. Fortunately, our own sense of balance – what’s a big deal and what’s not – is entirely beside the point. It’s all grist for the mill. It’s all there to be offered up.

But it’s the offering up part that seems to slow us down or throw us off course altogether. That’s where it becomes difficult. Let’s say that we experience some anger in relation to a friend. Put aside the details – what happened to cause it, who is responsible, the quality of the proffered amends. Just see the anger. Just let it be there without doing anything about it. Don’t say that you’re a crappy person for feeling this way, or your friend is a jerk for making you feel this way, or that anger is bad and good people don’t feel it.

Or rather, you can say all that, but be aware that you’re saying it. Your judgment is part of the problem. So see that, too. And don’t judge it.

I’m not especially good at this. But I am getting better. I can quietly perceive the crap and let it be. I tend not to judge it so much as just sort of glide over it into something else – usually something more attractive. Often, I find myself working the supposed problem out in my head. Me being super nice and forgiving or something like that. It’s okay. I just come back to the anger. It’s always still there.

The longer we can stay with the block without judging it or solving it or fantasizing about it, the more “undoing” is going to be one. As a general rule, we aren’t aware of our healed mind, and only vaguely – usually with some degree of fear and trembling – sense its movement. But it’s there and it works. The proof is how certain issues or problems seem to diminish with time. You know, there’s somebody who really pushes your buttons – always has – and then one day you notice that it’s not so bad. And you try and find the badness and it’s not there.

The healing is often taking place outside our awareness and all we every really see are the aftereffects. It’s like walking through the same neighborhood over and over and then one day you realize so-and-so painted their house. A lot just slips by and then one day we realize we’re different. It’s a nice feeling.

Really, all this holding our blocks in awareness – being attentive to resistance, seeing the crap and not hiding it or hiding from it – is about creating space in which it can be undone.

An empty space that is not seen as filled, an unused interval of time not seen as spent and fully occupied, become a silent invitation to the truth to enter, and to make itself at home. No preparation can be made that would enhance the invitation’s real appeal. For whatever you leave as vacant, God will fill, and where He is there must truth abide (T-27.III.4:1-3).

So we can move through our lives in a quiet but attentive way. Our focus is not on the form but on the content that fills the form. And slowly – slow as molasses maybe, and maybe even slower – we are letting go the content we thought we were responsible for and letting the real content – a better content – come from God.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • SALLY NAVE December 12, 2012, 7:17 am

    Thanks for Revealing what IS happening within me now, and I was not fully aware nor did I really understand, sally

    • Sean Reagan December 12, 2012, 9:34 am

      Thanks for reading Sally! I hope all is well –

      Sean

Leave a Comment