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100 Things To Do (While You’re Waiting To Be Enlightened)

1. Bake bread.
2. Wash the windows with your favorite clothes.
3. Walk dogs.
4. Study ants.
5. Learn how to make brooms.
6. Draw.
7. Bake cookies you hate so you have to give them away.
8. Polish silver.
9. Find somebody who needs their silver polished and polish it for them.
10. Memorize Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” soliloquy.
11. Read Robert Frost.
12. Listen to Edith Piaf.
13. Shoot your television.
14. Learn how to whittle.
15. Learn how to whistle.
16. Learn how to make your own pasta.
17. Grow herbs.
18. Make a macaroni statue of yourself.
19. Memorize Emily Dickinson’s “My Life Had Stood A Loaded Gun.”
20. Practice Vedantic meditation.
21. Write a religious manifesto.
22. Deep fry a Snickers bar.
23. Liberate an entire petting zoo.
24. Shave your head.
25. Dye your hair.
26. Sweep floors that are spotless.
27. Wax on, wax off.
28. Learn how to dance.
29. Just dance.
30. Dance in the driveway alone at 4 a.m.
31. Study Lady Macbeth.
32. Write an essay about Lady Macbeth and guilt.
33. Learn how to make jewelry from sea glass.
34. Write a love letter.
35. Keep a scrap book.
36. Collect stamps.
37. Add one new word to your vocabulary every day.
38. Read Ecclesiastes.
39. Learn how to draw your favorite plants.
40. Eat an apple, core and all.
41. Travel to India.
42. Trek the Inca trail.
43. Learn how to brew your own coffee.
44. Pretend you’re a cowboy.
45. Adopt a cat.
46. Walk backwards for a whole day.
47. Imitate a cricket.
48. Reread your favorite books from childhood.
49. Make vows.
50. Break vows.
51. Celebrate Christmas in October.
52. Resolve to understand your own face.
53. Learn how to make homemade ice cream.
54. Burn one of your journals.
55. Put out a hummingbird feeder.
56. Peel an apple so that the skin comes off in one unbroken spiral.
57. Hug a stranger.
58. Visit a museum.
59. Patronize local arists.
60. Howl.
61. Paint your cupboards.
62. Sell all your jewelry.
63. Read Moby Dick.
64. Write poetry that rhymes.
65. Visit a monastery.
66. Knit.
67. Study numerology.
68. Learn how to read tarot cards.
69. Write letters to old friends.
70. Cheat death.
71. See #46.
72. Outgrow your favorite shirt.
73. Invent a holiday.
74. Learn how to design websites.
75. Read Saint John of the Cross.
76. Sing more.
77. Sing less.
78. Learn how to identify at least seven constellations.
79. Put a soapbox in the forest and mount it daily and just listen.
80. Study the behavior of dogs.
81. Eschew models.
82. Become articulate on how and why the Titanic sank.
83. Read old gardening texts.
84. Bake pies.
85. Imagine a hobo.
86. Learn how to fold napkins like swans.
87. Hunt without a gun.
88. Take pictures without a camera.
89. Take a defensible position on a historic conspiracy.
90. Hide a statue of the Buddha where nobody will find it for a hundred years.
91. Avoid Thoreau.
92. Burn lottery tickets outside your local library.
93. Invite somebody famous to dinner.
94. Plant trees.
95. Hand craft a fly swatter.
96. Learn how to tie knots.
97. Start an annual garlic festival in your hometown.
98. Try to forget your phone number.
99. Make and sell vinegar.
100. Make a long list of things to do while you’re waiting to be enlightened and give it away.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Michael July 6, 2013, 4:12 am

    … Sleep in,
    Drink to that
    Go for a nap
    Hog the remote
    Lie on the sofa
    Early to bed

    • Sean Reagan July 7, 2013, 7:57 am

      make friends
      make lists

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