Help Comes In Many Forms

Last night I read Yaeko Iwasaki’s enlightment letters. She was twenty-five years old when she attained enlightenment. Less than two weeks later, she was dead. Her letters – which are written to her teacher, Harada-Roshi, are contained in Philip Kapleau’s The Three Pillars of Zen.

I’ve had this book for years – a close friend twenty years ago was a devoted Buddhist and follower of Kapleau, and I sort of dabbled with zafus. Recently, I pulled the book back out because I needed to read something that was a bit more grounded than the opacity of A Course in Miracles.

I say that carefully, of course. I don’t object to the opacity, so much as need to step away from it at times. Zen was fascinating me – still is, really – in my early twenties. It seemed practical in a way that Catholicism – my Christianity of choice back then – was not. Sure, I could read Thomas Merton and kind of follow along with his efforts to unite Zen with Jesus. But I liked the instructions. Sit like this, count your breaths and let’s talk again in a few years. I needed that then.

Reading Yaeko Iwasaki was inspiring. Her letters are very grateful and loving and lucid and they neatly track the experience of waking up. I didn’t feel a need to make it Buddhist or Christian, if that makes any sense. It just seemed like what can happen if we pay attention in a disciplined way. Most fascinating is the way she cycles through her enlightenment. At first blush it has the air of a good acid trip or something – like she woke up in an amusement park where all the rides and treats are free. But then it evens out and becomes much more natural and grounded.

I like this, in particular:

 . . . now that I have penetrated deeply and have acquired an unshakable aspiration to Buddhahood, it is clear to me that I can continue in my spiritual discipline forever and in this way perfect my personality to its fullest, impelled by the vow, which rises naturally within me, to save all sentient beings.

Comparative religion and theology is a lot less interesting to me than it used to be. I think you can addicted to crucifixion as well as to enlightenment. I think you can fool around for a long time – lifetimes maybe – in any practice. The conditions that Yaeko Iwasaki describes resonate deeply with my understanding – which is always evolving, always growing sharper and more effective – of ACIM.

***

I woke up from a pleasant dream at 2 a.m. and couldn’t sleep last night. I remembered Yaeko’s letters, and my friend with whom I have lost touch, and I felt very happy. I like the night a lot. The stars through the window, faint light on the neighbor’s white barn. It is very quiet and beautiful. I have been focusing on the review of the first five ACIM lessons, and they came through with unusual simplicity last night. I sat in bed and didn’t feel a need to do much of anything else. Every now and then that electric feeling of no-thoughts swept by. It is still so hard for me to trust the Holy Instant, to wake up. But it is nice when that’s okay, when I can let it be what it is and not need to fix it or improve it.

Help comes in many forms, from many directions. We just never know.

Tagged as: Harada-Roshi, Philip Kapleau, Yaeko Iwasaki