The Journey Ends in Love

There is a certain pattern to my practice of A Course in Miracles. Lately it has become more pronounced. I stumble into a state of real happiness and peace. It’s heavenly, if you’ll forgive a cliche. But then – after a minute or a few hours, sometimes even a day or two – doubt and fear enter. I doubt the feeling is real or that I’m worthy of it. I fear losing it.

In response to that fear and doubt, two things happen simultaneously. First, I clutch at the peace, trying to make it mine because I don’t trust God. I don’t trust the peace. Second, I become dismissive. “Oh well. I don’t really want that love anyway. Take your ball and go play with some other sucker, Jesus.”

And then, sure enough, I am separated from the love of God. And it hurts so much.

Here is what I am learning right now: it is important to see that I am choosing against Love. I don’t want to see that and I certainly don’t want to say it. But it’s true. I want the Love that Jesus offers to be conditional. I want an external God to offer and then jerk it away, like a cat toying with a mouse. That’s how God is, right? Cruel and spiteful, delighting in my misery.

If I can convince myself that is true, then there is nothing to be done. It’s not my choice to be unhappy; it’s just how it is. I am God’s victim.

That’s the lie that allows me to blame someone else – God and Jesus, in this case – for my unhappiness.

In a way, we preserve the egoic self – we make it real – by defending it against these imagined attacks from God.

There is a wonderful line in the course that asks us: do you prefer that you be right or happy (T-29.VII.1:9)?

Be glad that you are told where happiness abides, and seek no longer elsewhere. You will fail. But it is given you to know the truth, and not to seek for it outside yourself (T-29.VII.1:10-12).

Sometimes I feel that somewhere, somehow, I whispered “yes.” I thought God wasn’t listening. Probably I hoped he wasn’t. But he was. He sent Jesus and the Holy Spirit. And they have taught me so patiently. Their lesson is so simple: I am doing this to myself. And so I can choose not to do it. They will help.

No more than that, but no less either. It is enough.

Before this Love – even with such teachers beside me – I am scared. I don’t want to lose myself – small, sad and pathetic as that self is. I think it’s all I have. To surrender it and live in God . . . what is that but annihilation? What is that but loss?

And so it goes. It is too late to turn back and tarrying has become so painful. “Follow me,” says Jesus. “You who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”

One or two steps only and the journey ends where it began: in Love.

{ 23 comments… add one }
  • Jessica January 15, 2013, 11:31 am

    But how, Sean? How do we move from “stumbling into real happiness and peace” to just being? I’ve been leaving long moments between thoughts while at the same time living in the tension of every day life. However, despite what I have seen and unlearned, I am not able to function in this world with my new eyes. I have moved from a more dualistic type thinking to a less dualistic type thinking, but I cannot seem to bridge this gap that I speak of. I read that every one that studies the Course struggles in this way but none ( other than Tara Singh) fully lives this out in their daily lives. I’m not being combative here…I’m hungry. I’m struggling to reconcile the life I find myself in. Thoughts?

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 11:30 am

      Thanks, Jessica. Your question “but how” is very much my question too. But I wonder if it is not the right question? Or not a helpful one? I don’t know.

      Tara Singh said once (I think Commentaries on A Course in Miracles) that there is nothing to do and only we can do it. To me, that makes intuitive sense – affirms something unarticulated – but it’s hard to explain or justify.

      Still, I think this state that we aspire to – that we are trying to find and experience – is already given. It is a present condition presently unrecognized. It seems natural to ask “how” to find it – but I think when I when bring “how” into it, I am admitting systems and theories and methods and processes and, of course, time. It implies a better – at least a differentiated – future based on the application of some set of ideas as yet unapplied.

      So I see this brokenness or fragmentation and I feel its effects and naturally wanting to heal it I turn to yoga, or Christianity Joel Goldsmith style, or ACIM Ken Wapnick style, or meditation or the law of attraction or psychotherapy or energy healing or celibacy or some combination thereof.

      How long did I do that? Lifetimes maybe. But it does bring me to this place where I see the facade – I see that no matter what method I apply, the problem never changes. I see that the idealized future never arrives. It is intellectual but it is still fruitful – there is still some degree of peace in it. The thing is, it still begs the question. I am not there and I am hungry to get there and so how do I do it?

      In a way, I cannot get out of the thought “how do I get out?”

      Thought can do many things – invent games like Dungeon & Dragons, make scones, build bridges – but what it cannot do is end itself. Thus, thought invents a problem and then – conveniently forgetting it brought the problem into being – sets about solving it. And all the while the well-intentioned solving simply sustains the conflict.

      I think what has to happen is that I have to see the underlying paradox of thought – it can’t be solved the way scones are made or bridges built. I have to simply see that a) I am doing it and b) I am trying to figure how it’s being done. If I can see it clearly – its operation, its insanity, its paradoxical nature – then it naturally dissolves because our not seeing it is all that sustains it.

      There is nothing to do and only we can do it.

      I do card tricks for kids sometimes. They are mystified and amazed until I show them how it’s done. Then it’s just a mechanical problem and not particularly interesting or effective. I think this awakening thing is like that in a way: a) we are pulling this sleight of mind and b) deliberately forgetting we are doing it and then c) feeling its effects ad puzzling and puzzling and puzzling over how it’s done and all that.

      So . . . how do we do this in our daily lives? I just try to make space for the given. I’m pretty clear at this point that when the contact is made I’m not doing anything. I can reason through it, or try to, but that does not, in and of itself, release what needs to be released. But so long as I am thinking about releasing, then the releasing won’t happen.

      Do you know those Jesus mirages – where the name “Jesus” is sort of hidden in a bunch of lines? it’s just a mess then suddenly “Jesus” is there? It’s a bit cliche but my experience is like that. You just look and look and try to trust and then suddenly it’s there. And then I jump in and say “I’ve got it” and it’s gone again and it’s back to looking . . . It’s like an intense passivity is needed.

      Anyway . . . What is your approach? Where are you with all this?

      • Jessica January 16, 2013, 2:39 pm

        Thank you for the time that you gave in your thoughtful response. I appreciate it more than I can say.

        Where am I on this? I am treading water in the middle of paradox. ( ” intense passivity”) I am tracking with everything you mentioned and there are so many beautiful moments when I can smile that knowing smile…you know the one…the one where you know that you know nothing, and it’s perfectly beautiful. But within moments of knowing peace, the dishes need to be done, the kids need to be fed, and the dog needs to be let out for the 20th time today!

        I really resonated with the idea that you mentioned about how you are not doing anything when contact is made. That has happened so many times now that I spend very little time chasing after those vapors these days. However, that still leaves me with a significant part of my presently perceived life to live.

        You answered my question in a very graceful way which tells me many things. Most relevantly, however, it tells me that your written word carries experience and a representation of a very rich inner thought life. But if we were sitting down for tea, I would brashly blurt out, ” Yeah, yeah, yeah…but about relating to your spouse? What about being a parent? What about being human in this world?!!!” Making “space for the given” is the only action that seems perfect. But my unreal, false dream, ego-driven self still lives to fight another day. It seems to me that if one wanted to really unravel the dream, one would have to bring ACIM into application by becoming “independent of the externals through self-reliance, intrinsic work, and having something of our own to give.”(Singh) Why don’t we quit our jobs, leave our families, and give fully inorder to receive fully?

        I’m sure my questions betray my newness in relating to ACIM, and perhaps this not the right forum for such discussions. These conversations can be a bit hard to come by so I tend to over-eagerly engage whenever I am allowed.

        Again, thank you. Any further comments are welcome. Jessica

        • Michael January 16, 2013, 7:55 pm

          Jessica,

          I am a fellow over-eager reader grateful for the exchanges here. I think we’re all thirsty for them. I seem to have no problem staying thirsty (for this), my friends. Not having read any Singh, I may be taking your question about quitting jobs and leaving families in order to give fully out of context, but reading your question propelled me to a place flooded with love when I thought about all the challenges to grow and opportunities to learn and teach ‘another way’ that these two ‘institutions’ have provided me over the years.

          I have found for me personally that when I’m walking along a sun-drenched lane, co-mingling consciousness with color and texture, carefree as a light breeze- it is a delicious refueling opportunity. But I’ve come to learn and appreciate the fact that when I’m in the office and desperate to be somewhere else, or see family responsibilities as a burden, or am in any situation where the light fades and in creeps the shame, blame, anger, resentment, desire to be distant, desire to be elsewhere- that I am in precisely the most opportune situation possible to receive what I most need, and to give what will most directly teach me the Truth. Because if I feel any of those things, I must have believed something false about myself and/or another, and it took that moment, that perfect and holy reflection of my deceptions, to make them apparent to me, and thus heal-able.

          We haven’t failed or dropped the ball when those close encounters with fear and darkness arrive, we have asked for and received an opportunity to look at a past choice, and been blessed with the opportunity to choose differently. Our allowing everything enables all falsehood within ourselves to be dredged up from the places we have hidden it away, and marginalized it, so that we can bless it. Otherwise, how could we find it and heal it? We need help for that.

          It seems crazy that asking for goodness and light results in situations that trigger darkness and doubt, but in a way, I see that as being what we have asked for. To have light and peace, we have to set down our falsehoods, and sometimes to do that they must be shown to us, until (so we read) we are able to generalize the lesson to everything. Until then, the Holy Spirit teaches us through specifics I think.

          Do I succeed in blessing and forgiving in the heat of the moment as fast as the difficulties arise? No. Seldom. How could I? No matter. I move to forgiveness as soon as I can, a day later, ten years later, the next breath, and in between am grateful for the moments of grace that fuel the journey.

          Michael

          • Jessica January 16, 2013, 8:32 pm

            Well said, Michael. I found much of what I am feeling in your response. Thank you for putting it out there. 🙂 I am gaining much through these discussions and I selfishly hope they continue!!! Thank you to all that have written.

            I’m curious, Michael…how long have you been studying the course?

        • GA January 16, 2013, 9:15 pm

          Hi, Jessica,

          Thanks for your honesty and open questions/comments. This particular post of Sean’s seems to be afire with Good Energy and Thought!

          I sit at the word processor, and sometimes stuff just pours out. Here is some from tonight, sparked, mostly, from your posts, but also from the others! Sweet!

          We’ve all experienced that mili second, that instant of Bliss. For years, they’d just come to me. Not too often, but always, always, always recognizable. Very hard to explain. The Peace that knows no understanding. Until we’ve felt it, it is inexplicable. After years in ACIM, I am more able to look for them. . . to savor them when they come. Not always, but often enough that I am certain they are precious glimpses into Heaven. Moments of no physical awarenesses. Instead, totally aware that I am Mind. I am a Loving Child of God. He is the Father, I am the Son. Pure bliss, but only for a flash.

          The Course talks about these moments of Bliss. For a very long time I didn’t make the connection. When I finally did, I felt immense gratitude, thankful for the God Realization that I’d only dreamed of for years. “In touch” with the Creation. . . connected to God. It sounds unbelievable, (and it is,) until I believe it myself. I am a Thought of God’s. I am an Idea. I am Spirit! I am the Holy Son of God.

          But what about all the dross around me? As mentioned in this post from Sean, and the great sharing of ideas; what are we “to do” when the material world comes rushing back into us, pushing the Holy Instant aside, again catapulting us; slamming us back into the world of the ego? At first, I think, “Oh, no! Not more of THIS!” And, “When is IT going to END? Yuk!”

          These “reentry” occurrences prove the power of the ego and the attraction of “the world.” This thing isn’t just going to let me “go!” Not by any means will I hear: “Oh, I love the idea of you leaving me and going back to where you were before we manifested the separation! Go! Have a wonderful “time” with God!”

          So, here I am, still in a body. In the “world,” going through all of the “motions” like a good little human. “Getting old,” feeling “weak,” experiencing “sickness.” Attacking, defending, attacking, defending. “Happy,” sometimes, “miserable” lots. . .

          A while back, though, something dawned on me. In the Text, and in the Lessons, Jesus stresses over and over that there is no time. No space. No body. No “world.” Perception and projection are the world of the ego. There is no “past,” and no “future.” The world of illusions that we made simply doesn’t exist! We are thoughts of God. We are co-creators with Him. In Heaven, our only “job” is to create, to extend.

          What I’ve been doing lately is collecting Wellnesses. Jesus says that every loving thing I’ve ever done is held for me by the Holy Spirit. Why shouldn’t I make my own collection? I call them “nuggets.” I picture small rocks of gold in a leather pouch. If I experience one kindness a day, that’s pretty good! Two a day is even “better.” So, these “instants” last an instant. In a “day,” (24 hours,) those few seconds of Bliss would stand out, huge! I mean, c’mon, if there is no time and no space, what difference does it make how many “hours” I “spend” on worldly stuff? If my sights are set on collecting nuggets, THAT and only that is important. The rest of the chaff is just that: chaff!

          Figure it this way; if the Wellness is held forever in Heaven by the Holy Spirit, and the “rest of the day” doesn’t really exist anyway, I’ve got another piece of Heaven in my collection. . . its a Good Thing!!

          Thanks again to you and everyone else for firming my belief in this Life saving Process. . .

          GA

          • Jessica January 16, 2013, 9:33 pm

            What a rich group of teachers this “Sean Reagan” community is!!! I feel so very loved, actually. Thank you, GA for your words. Specifically, they made me feel encouraged to spend some more time in the Course text. I also liked the word picture of collecting “Wellnesses”. That, along with the reminder that this world, time and space don’t really exist, I feel that my original question has more traction.

            Can I just have ya’all on personal retainer for all my questions? 🙂

            As I end this day, I am feeling super grateful for all that have spoken into my life today. Lala salama…sleep in peace.

          • Aleta January 16, 2013, 11:14 pm

            I agree, Jessica – this “Sean Reagan” community is certainly a blessing! I am totally pumped tonight, feeling the Holy Spirit’s Love and Guidance as He uses my friends from this blog to pass it along! I’m glad I took the time to read everyone’s input! Thanks everyone!

          • Michael January 17, 2013, 6:48 pm

            Jessica,

            Let me say that I put no stock in time duration being a meaningful metric with respect to studying the Course, because I think it invites comparisons that are not truly helpful. But I understand the question, and as one who once found a bit of solace in surrendering to the fact that if this thing takes forever, that’s okay- that even if I prove to be the slowest learner, the most stubborn resister, whatever this journey is, and however long it takes, I’m going to offer the willingness to proceed, I can say that my day-to-day experiences feel much more whole a decade and change into this than when I was resigning myself to the fact that peace was a fantasy I might just be crazy enough to indulge. Having said that, I have no idea where I am on the spectrum that begins and ends in timelessness. I can just say that my days are less marred by fear than they once were, and that maybe I’ve got a decent coal bed going now underneath it all, with enough inertia to recover the warm flames of peace when the breeze of Christ sneaks in through the door and brings me back from the abyss on those days when I’m confident in my wayward unworthy isolated humanness.

            Michael

        • Sean Reagan January 17, 2013, 2:58 pm

          Hi Jessica,

          Yes, I blurt along those lines myself quite often.

          If we agree that whatever it is – the given, say – it comes unexpectedly and unasked (and somehow without our active participation – I am not always clear on this works even though I’m clear it does), then why can’t it come when we are letting the dog out for the 21st time? Or reading “Good Night Moon” for the 38th time? Or while or stirring the black bean soup or whatever?

          I’m asking that rhetorically, because my sense that it can’t come in those ways at those times is quite pervasive. My practice is to wake up very early – most mornings between 3 and 4. I walk the dog, pray, read (usually but not always ACIM) and ease into writing. It can be energizing and intense. But you know, the kids start waking up around 7. And then it’s time to make breakfast, feed chickens, go to work and a thousand other things.

          It is a different energy then, for sure.

          When Thomas Merton wrote his last book – Contemplative Prayer – his intended audience was monks. But he talks about how the real movement of monasticism – mysticism wedded to active life – might in the future be more dynamic in laypeople. He died soon after and never really developed that idea, but he seemed to anticipate a spiritual body that was outside the four walls of the monastery or convent but still maintained a spiritual intensity and discipline.

          You ask if we are supposed to give up family and home and work and move into ashrams or something . . . I think the answer is maybe! Some people do that. Tara Singh left his wife and children, came to the U.S., found the course and you know the rest.

          But I am starting to sense that it doesn’t have to be so dramatic, at least not for me. That what needs attention from me is the movement from the 6:45 peace to 7 a.m. bustle. After all, Thomas Merton had classes to teach, veggies to harvest, counseling to go, a writing practice, prayer and all that. I’ve hung out in monasteries and it can get quite busy. Is this division artificial? Something I invent just to keep Love at a distance?

          So I am beginning to wonder if I am seeing it wrong – that if I have taken my vows in some deep, unarticulate way – and am stubbornly refusing to accept them, or only accept them sometimes, when it makes me feel holy and special. Does that make sense?

          In other words, I am already the monk I think I ought to be, I’ve just fogged it out.

          I wonder about those shifts in energy, those inclinations to say “this is holy” and “that is less holy.” I wonder if my focus needs to be on seeing it all as holy, even though I don’t understand what that means except intellectually, and even though it all doesn’t feel holy.

          Our exchange yesterday sent me back to Tara Singh’s collection of letters from his travels – Remembering God in Everything You See. And he is busy! He is talking to bus drivers, getting lost, going for walks, ordering dinner, writing letters, planning workshops, doing workshops, meeting family, waiting for planes . . .

          So somehow “the given” is there in the bustle too but I won’t – can’t – see it.

          Maybe.

          I love that quote of Taraji’s! We can talk later about intrinsic work (my biggest personal struggle) and having something of one’s own to give but I will say this about self-reliance. If I need a Catholic Worker-style house and community in order to give fully, then I am not self-reliant. I am just relying on a different set of externals.

          Thank you, Jessica.

  • Sally Nave January 15, 2013, 11:34 am

    Ah yes, “I did it to my self “———-and the blinding guilt and lack of Trust and twisted feelings, that go with that all this in my ‘mind’!!! As I headed back home on 3 forms of transportation, from Prescott, AZ, my ‘mind’ was ravaged with “OMG what if I made a mistake on the timing again and the Light Rail ends up in that 5 minutes ONLY late period for that City Dial A Ride and it leaves and I’m stuck in the dark with all this luggage and no way to get home ?!?!?! Then the Words ran gently through my ‘mind’,: “What happened to Trust, didn’t we ALREADY go all through this many times? Leave it up to Me, I can handle this, as you have seen before with your Illusions, in these last few days.” So suddenly my ‘mind’ recognized The Holy Spirit’s ‘Mind’ and a WONDERFUL Calmness flodded me from within, and standing in the dark waiting for the next Light Rail to arrive, I was actually smiling within, and contented in a way, not felt for some time. This experience is something I’m ASKING Jesus to remind me of often, and when I do ask, I seem to hear him reply : “Yes, I do understand because I went through so many of your experiences in a differernt way.” I thank You Dear Father, for The Companions You have given me/us and we don’t have to Qualify to enjoy their Reality and Nearness to/within us all. Thhank you Sean for Being with us too.

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 11:34 am

      Thank you Sally. It reminds me sometimes of that scene in one of the Indiana Jones movies when in order to find the bridge that crosses the canyon you have to literally step into thin air. It is one thing to talk about faith or write about faith but there comes a time when we have to leap – or step – and trust that we’re going to be held and lifted. You remind me all the time of the importance of this – and that when we do step in the direction of Jesus we aren’t going to be abandoned. Thank you!

  • Jill January 15, 2013, 1:04 pm

    You have expressed my feelings so closely! I read and read. I then feel great, happy and thrilled to be in the love. The poof… exactly what you decribed. Thanks for posting this. I enjoy every one of your posts! The truthfulness and clarity amaze me.

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 11:20 am

      Thank you for reading and sharing Jill. I appreciate the kind words very much.

  • Michael January 15, 2013, 7:51 pm

    Sean, this statement, “…I feel that somehow, somewhere, I whispered ‘yes’,” reminded me of this poem in Ladinsky’s The Gift (poems by Hafiz):

    “God, disguised as a myriad of things and playing a game of Tag
    Has kissed you and said, ‘You’re it- I mean, you’re really IT!’
    Now, it does not matter what you believe or feel
    For something wonderful, Major League Wonderful,
    Is someday going to happen.”

    I botched the arrangement of the lines. No matter. I think in that sometime, somewhere moment that you whispered yes… it saved us all.

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 11:26 am

      Thanks, Michael. Funny you mention Hafez. I have been going back to some of Robert Bly’s translations and thinking again on ghazals. Making meaning is hard enough but what happens when we are trying to articulate what is beyond words altogether? I have been messing around with this issue at this site for quite a while now.

      • Michael January 16, 2013, 7:27 pm

        Thanks, Sean. I greatly enjoyed reading some of your entries there. Good stuff!

  • GA January 16, 2013, 7:32 am

    A synopsis of the Lesson for Today:

    Every thought I have is either true or false, no exceptions. True thoughts create their own likeness, false make theirs. Idle thoughts are never “idle.” Every thought I have contributes to truth or to illusions. My thoughts either extend to truth, or multiply illusions. I can indeed multiply nothing; but I will not extend it by doing so.

    Thus,

    True thought equals love, false thought equals fear.

    True thought extends, (love,) false thought multiplies illusions, (fear.)

    True thought equals God, false thought equals ego.

    True thought engenders love and forgiveness, false thought makes more chaos.

    True thought creates peace, false thought makes war.

    Today I will continue to try to remember to ask, “What is this for?” What is the meaning of this?” If I am extending love, my thoughts are those of God. If I am making craziness, my thoughts are those of littleness, nothingness, and ego.

    Of Thought Choices

    Sean, your “struggle for happiness and peace” seems to boil down, for me, to thought choices. My “work” is to choose the true thoughts that mix in with the false on a moment to moment basis. Easy to say, but takes much practice. . .

    The story of being afraid of the pending connections necessary to arrive safely home made me think to a few weeks back when my wife and I were sitting in an airport awaiting the next announcement about our flight. Delayed, more, or finally just cancelled?

    Trying to give all thoughts to the Holy Spirit, I found myself focusing more on all of my brothers sitting around me. My favorite peaceful and peace giving thought, lately, is, “I forgive you for every thing I’ve ever done to you,” while looking at the person.

    As I gazed around me, murmuring this idea to myself each time my eyes rested on anyone, I realized, again, that it is this and only this that Jesus wants from us.

    Our trip home took some really surprising and unexpected twists and turns. For the whole time I was at peace. Whenever I began to feel my thoughts drifting toward grumpiness, or became aware of a negative, (angry,) thought, I quickly looked around me for someone to forgive.

    Forgiving thoughts equal peace. Thanks for all your effort on the site. It is a bright spot in my day!

    GA

    • sally January 16, 2013, 11:34 am

      GA thanks to the Mind that motivated your helpful comments , on today’s Lesson. And I find my heart/Mind filled with Loving Thoughts of Jesus as our Teacher; especially the depth of his understanding of our learning process, as in the sentance today “We will practice this idea in MANY forms before you REALLY understand it.” (my caps.)
      I thank Sean too, for his individual ways of using Words that help me become more sensitive to meaning within my thoughts that are running through the words I use……causing !??!?!….Heavy TRUTH message today….as most seem to be to me. TYG for Your patience with me.

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 5:47 pm

      Hi Gillette,

      Thanks for the kind words and the wise words, too. I love your practice of forgiving others in a kind of sustained, non-stop way. It is a deeply loving gesture, especially because it seems divorced from some personal external necessity – it is being given because it is given in order to be given (if that’s not too convoluted). I think this is the challenge, really: how do we get to that place where all the details of life just sort of fall away and we are simply present to God’s love, which naturally extends through us? Happy on a park bench and happy with a million bucks – it doesn’t matter. It feels more in the nature of a gift to me than anything we earn or accomplish. I think we are of a mind in that the course seems to provide some practical guidance in terms of navigating one’s way through illusion. Thanks as always –

      Sean

      • Gillette January 18, 2013, 7:44 am

        Thanks, Sean, for your note, and all you do on this site!

        Today’s Lesson, (1/18,) has me thinking of the activity we’ve all experienced with your 1/15 post! An interpretation of today’s Lesson may be something like; “Other minds are joined to mine and experience what I see.”

        When any one of us read your posts, we “see” your thoughts; our minds join, (become one,) with yours. (The Holy Spirit is involved in this, as we are yet too scattered to accomplish these kinds of acts. Our willingness, however, is all He needs from us. By our inviting Him into our lives, He is doing the “work.”)

        The loving feelings each of us feel during this process engenders powerful support to the idea of the Lesson! Putting the Lesson into practical use becomes less of a challenge. It is exciting to imagine how many opportunities we’ll have this day to collect “nuggets” of Forgiveness and Love! By realizing that everything I “see” is being experienced by other minds begins to awaken me to the idea that I am not “alone” —I am always loved. Today will be great time to extend Love!

        I’m thinking of all of the readers, here, this morning. The thought extends, and it is an easy step to picture in my mind all of those that they’ll “see” today, and all of those that those will “see,” and so on. We begin to “see,” (experience,) how necessary each “part” of the Sonship is to the Whole.

        What a great opportunity to “get” ACIM this blog is providing all of us! Thanks.

        Gillette

  • Aleta January 16, 2013, 12:57 pm

    This piece is so timely for me. I’ve been dealing with the issue of trust – trust in what I know to be Truth, trust that if I give up my fear, I won’t lose my self, I’ll only gain my True Self. I’m really good at forgiveness when I perceive there is nothing to forgive, when I’m having a “happy dream,” but when perceived problems/upsets that are a SEEMING part of this world, arise in my personal mind, my chest tightens and I experience intense anxiety, fear that grips my heart like a vise. I seem to rail against happiness and peace – “how can I be happy and peaceful when this or that is happening?” Then I re-read parts in the Course and give my mind back to the Holy Spirit and everything is fine . . . for awhile. I am reading Liz Cronkhite’s “Four Habits for Inner Peace,” as well as Ken Wapnick’s “Ending our Resistance to Love,” and they are helpful, but what I find is that I can’t just READ about this – I need to practice it. That seems like a “no brainer,” but I find it oh so hard to do sometimes! And then there it is — it is my struggle to “do” that trips me up. For I need not do anything.
    Sean, your comment, “But so long as I am thinking about releasing, then the releasing won’t happen.” struck a chord with me. This is what it boils down to for me. It can’t be a process of reading about releasing, or thinking about it. I just have to do it. Actively surrender to the Love that is all there Is, stay in the Holy Instant and trust, trust, TRUST!
    This blog and everyone’s comments are so helpful to me. Thank you, Sean, and all of your readers!

    • Sean Reagan January 16, 2013, 5:53 pm

      Hi Aleta,

      It’s not silly at all, this idea that we have to practice and not just study the course. That is what drew me to Tara Singh – the first book I read was “Nothing Real Can Be Threatened.” I don’t know if I just flipped to a page or what, but I read this line about bringing the course into application. It was a light went on! That was what was missing. I was having this intense intellectual experience of the course when what I needed was something more heartfelt, more practical. It’s funny because I know see most teachers get around to teaching this but for me it was in Tara singh that I first saw and heard it.

      I think it is a real breakthrough when we see that we are making ACIM another idea instead of allowing it to transform us. I also think it is important to be gentle with ourselves when we encounter our resistance – railing against peace and happiness. Lately it has been a little lighter for me – the negative thoughts come in and I can see it happening and sort of say, “here I go again being an idiot.” when I see it, there is a lot I can do – pray, ask jesus for help, grab a helpful book, whatever. Seeing it – and choosing something else, or even just being willing to choose something else – is pretty much the whole game. Do that enough and we’re going to happy beyond measure.

      Thanks Aleta!

      Sean

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