A Course in Miracles says that we come closest to our true self in holy relationships (T-20.V.1:1), which are holy because they are premised on what we can give, rather than what we can get.
No one can give if he is concerned with the results of giving. That is a limitation on the giving itself, and neither the giver nor the receiver would have the gift (M-6.3:4-5).
Do you have a relationship like that? Where all that matters is what you can offer? And it doesn’t matter at all what happens after you give the gift?
Most of us, if we are honest, have to say no. Maybe once in a while one or two of our relationships are like that. But basically, no.
Most of us, if we are honest, would like to be on the receiving end of a relationship like that.
And it’s okay. It’s more than okay.
If “no” is the truth, then that is what we have to say. Honesty is liberating. When we know we are broken, then both the need and the means of healing clarify. It is a blessing to say to a trusted brother or sister – and through them to the Holy Spirit we share – “I’m scared of love” or “I don’t know how to love” or “I worry all my love is hate.”
When I began to be comfortable not faking my spiritual progress, what appeared was not “spiritual progress” but friendship. My isolation crumbled; I took a seat at the table with you. I met my brothers and sisters, and entered in relationship with them.
I know sometimes the way I write makes things seem poetic or whatever. But I am not talking about anything we don’t all understand. I am talking about the ordinary beauty and grind of just making friends. We are nervous and awkward; we stumble a little finding our way. Sometimes our feelings get hurt.
But once in a while you realize you are in the presence of Christ, and then all that you want to do is serve them.
Judge not what is invisible to you or you will never see it, but wait in patience for its coming . . . Your brother’s worth has been established by his Father . . . What is in him will shine so brightly in your grateful vision that you will merely love him and be glad (T-20.V.3:5, 4:3 – 4).
In that moment, that relationship testifies to eternity. It is a herald restoring to our awareness God’s certainty – we remember ourselves as God knows us because we have glimpsed – however briefly – Christ in our brother or sister and learned – and will not lightly forget – that together we are Christ.
And we do nothing to make this happen other than recognize that there is nothing we can do, even if we wanted.
Your brother or sister is the gift, and they they know it not. No more do you. And yet, have faith that He Who sees the gift in you and your brother will offer and receive it for you both (T-20.V.7:7-9).
Is it clear? We aren’t here to become spiritual masters or experts. There is nothing to learn. We don’t need a monastery or a school. We just have to agree to join with one another in whatever confused and frightened way we can manage.
That is the gift God asks that we give Him: to risk, over and over, a holy relationship. To listen for the herald and, hearing the call, to answer.