Healing Wrong Perception

One of the salient qualities of the ego is its perennial dissatisfaction. No matter what happens, it wants something else.

This is an example of what A Course in Miracles calls “wrong perception” or “misperception.” Healing it is a major focus of miracles (T-1.I.49:2).

A miracle is a correction introduced into false thinking . . . it acts as a catalyst, breaking up erroneous perception and reorganizing it properly. This places you under the Atonement principle, where perception is healed (T-1.I.37:1-3).

We can observe misperception and its effect in our lives. Our goals are always shifting: we want lots of money and when we get it, we want more. Or we decide what we really want is simplicity. We get the dream job and then discover a newer, better job. Or a new sex partner. Maybe vegetarianism would bring us closer to God.

This kind of thinking can be quite subtle and we are often loathe to admit it. We want to be spiritual and sane, not greedy and insane. But faking happiness and peace are not happiness and peace. They are distractions. We don’t have to do anything for joy and peace – they are the natural result of setting the ego aside.

Letting go of the ego is what heals perception. Absent ego’s judgment, we perceive things as they are. They are no longer impeded by the ego’s goals for it. Our lives do not actually require interpreting but that is all the ego knows how to do: interpret things and assign them meaning and value, over and over. And while this keeps the ego going, for a time, it never works in terms of inner peace and happiness.

Wrong perception is the wish that things be as they are not. The reality of everything is totally harmless, because total harmlessness is the condition of its reality. It is also the condition of your awareness of reality. You do not have to seek reality. It will seek you and find you when you meet its conditions (T-8.IX.2:1-5).

This is very clear! The work is to learn how to do no work; or rather, to see that what we are doing is not working, and so to go slowly and quietly and see what happens when we stop insisting that we know what we’re doing, we know how things work, we know what’s best, et cetera.

The present moment is sufficient. The gift of the holy instant is our touchstone and salvation (T-15.I.15:11-11). The ego is happy to accept these concepts as ideals – it will cheerfully consent to putting them on bumper stickers – but it will resist with all its might if we try to make it center of our living.

So the question becomes: can we make contact with our desire that life – right now, right here – be other than it is? Can we see the action of wrong perception as it happens?

That is, can we ask: what do we wish was different about our life and then allow the answers – and the false logic underlying them – to come to the surface? Can we give attention to them?

And then, seeing it, can we also realize that it is only this desire to change things that brings us to grief? That stands in the way of inner peace?

Peace is simply the relinquishment of the impulse to judge the present and find it wanting. This is the essence of all the early lessons. We don’t understand what we perceive (W-pI.3), what it means (W-pI.10), or how to respond to it (W-pI.12). All we actually see – until the miracle heals out minds – is the meaning that we given everything (W-pI.2).

We come back to the beginning then. We start again in this moment simply by recognizing the ego’s desire to change everything – to look at everything, judge everything, and keep us on a path of shifting standards and perennial dissatisfaction.

The ego professes to be able to make our living happier and more peaceful by making it all different.

But there is another way: we can accept what is given precisely as it is given. We can make it all the same (T-15.XI.10:11). The Peace of God waits only on our acceptance of this gift, and to receive it as such is to heal the means by which it is given.

Imitation vs. Creation in A Course in Miracles

We can be creators or imitators. Most of the time we are imitators. But if we are truly interested in an experience of inner peace, in the transcendent Love that A Course in Miracles calls God, then we will have to become creators. It is not an impossible transition, but it can seem quite daunting.

What does it mean to be an imitator? To imitate is to use another thing as a model and then seek to replicate or simulate it. The imitator copies what they see or perceive. A poet, for example, might see a heron at dawn and then try to recapture the experience in a poem. A painter would do the same in her medium. In both cases, they are imitating a previous experience.

Imitation is not limited to artists. Many people have a comfort food – a bag of chips, a bar of dark chocolate, pizza from a particular restaurant, whatever. At one point in time, eating that food staved off some negative feeling, or kept us from toppling into an emotional abyss, and so now we imitate that moment. We repeat the gesture in an attempt to get the same result.

This is essentially how thinking itself works. Certain things show up in its field of perception: people, places, ideas, events, concatenations of those things. Thinking compares those things to its memory – of the same things, of similar things, of what it was taught about those things, categorizes it as good or bad, safe or dangerous, fruitful or draining and the dictates some action accordingly.

This happens very swiftly but if you look closely at the pattern of thinking, you will see that it works this way.

We see some intimation of this early in the ACIM text when we are encouraged to ask how the mind could ever have made an ego.

There is . . . no point in giving an answer in terms of the past because the past does not matter, and history would not exist if the same mistakes were not being repeated in the present (T-4.II.1:3).

In Moments Outside of Time, Tara Singh observed that what we are in truth is timeless and perfect and that knowledge of this reality is what ends the self-imposed separation from God. Psychology and other intellectual activity, he said, are of no help.

Brain activity gives validity to images of memory. In truth, it is mere illusion. The moments outside of time instantly dispel the illusion (19).

The suggestion is that there is another way to relate to our minds, that thinking – as we know it in terms of language, intellect, ideas and so forth – is not the way that we remember we are still one with God.

Eternity is one time, its only dimension being “always.” This cannot mean anything to you until you remember God’s open Arms, and finally know his open Mind. Like Him, you are “always”; in His Mind and with a mind like His. In your open mind are your creations, in perfect communication born of perfect understanding . . . God’s meaning is incomplete without you, and you are incomplete without your creations (T-9.VI.7:1-4, 7).

Thus, in course terms, creation is analogous to God’s creation of us: we are extensions of God. When we create, we extend – Love – in the same way that God’s extension of Love created us. There is really no way to meaningfully understand or appreciate this at the level of the body in the world. At that level, life is very specific: our needs are specific and the solutions to those needs are correspondingly specific. Yet true creation cannot be limited.

Anything made for a specific purpose has no true generalizability. When you make something to fill a perceived lack, you are tacitly implying that you believe in separation . . . Inventiveness is wasted effort even in its most ingenious form. The highly specific nature of invention is not worthy of the abstract creativity of God’s creations (T-3.V.2:3-4, 7-8).

The text points out that we labor to know what we are, forever inquiring of ourselves as to what we are, and yet the question is profoundly misdirected because it assumes that a) we actually know what we are and b) are responsible (let alone capable) for providing it to ourselves (T-3.V.4:1-4). What doesn’t know itself can’t meaningfully ask itself what it is. That is a recipe for madness.

The course then makes an interesting observation: we cannot perceive ourselves correctly, it says (and thus know what we are in truth) because we “have no image to be perceived (T-3.V.4:5).

That seems so profound and important to me: we have no image to be perceived.

An image requires that something go before it – it always stands for something else (T-3.V.4:7). Consider the photograph of a tree: it makes a very realistic looking approximation of the tree but it is not the tree. The tree went before it in time. The tree precedes the image of the tree.

Thus, our self-image is based on memory. It comes out of the past. Thus, it is imitative, not creative.

So we can make two ACIM-based observations about creativity: the first is that it is generalizable and the second is that it is not related to the past. Physicist David Bohm observed that memory is very slow to adapt to changing reality, especially when we are highly invested in certain outcomes (Changing Consciousness 131).

In other words, if I am driving to Boston to see a concert, memory will provide a reasonable set of driving instructions. That’s good and relatively innocuous. But say my wife asks me not to go: she’s tired, one of the kids is sick, I went to see Bob Dylan last year . . . what does memory do in that instance?

That is not black and white. I might feel put upon – I might feel spiritually challenged. Basically I will create images and respond to them: my wife as a nag, my children as flu-prone, Dylan as dying so this might be my last show, me as a man always asked to give things up for some greater good other people choose and so on and so forth.

It might not go that way – it might be completely different – but you take my point. No matter how it goes, I am always drawing images based on the past in order to justify a certain response to circumstances.

And the course advocates something different.

There is no link of memory to the past. If you would have it there, then there it is. But only your desire made the link, and only you have held it to a part of time where guilt appears to linger still (T-28.I.4:5-7).

In order for us to experience this sense of the present – this freedom from image which is freedom from the past – we are going to have to become very attentive. Fiercely attentive. As soon as our attention deviates – into need, into judgment (which always begins by taking the form of naming what we see or feel), into desire – then we have lost it.

Something important happens when we are this attentive, this devoted: we are restored somehow to gratitude and by virtue of gratitude, to service. It is hard to explain this exactly but it always happens. In the Holy Instant – in the present – we begin to experience, to know at a deep level, that we “get” by “giving” and that all we are really here to do is serve the spark of God we perceive in our brothers and sisters.

We begin to want to help people – however they need it. And we always know how they need it because it is our need as well. So it might be something big and dramatic like a financial gift or a place to stay for a few weeks and it might be something very simple, like just saying “hello” to someone who really needed in that instant to be reminded that they matter, that they are loved.

Service is how we achieve and sustain our awareness of the present moment in which both the past and the future simply dissolve.

Practice giving this blessed instant of freedom to all who are enslaved by time, and thus make time their friend for them. The Holy Spirit gives their blessed instant to you through your giving it. As you give it, He offers it to you (T-15.I.13:3-5).

Paradoxically, it takes time to learn that we are not bound by time. Yet as we learn it, we naturally master it because it reflects our natural state. We are reminded that what we are is without form and outside of time altogether. We need imitate nothing for there is nothing to imitate. We are creation. We are the Love that we call God.

Attention is the Holy Spirit

What A Course in Miracles calls the “Holy Spirit” is not separate from us. It is not like a teacher in front of a class, or the author of a book who lives across the country. Nor is the Holy Spirit one part of the larger whole we call the self – like a kidney or blue eyes or our obsession with photographing hummingbirds.

In a way, the Holy Spirit is simply a metaphor for the capacity of our mind to be healed. The healed mind is not split – it is not divided between God and self. It is not partial to the world while simultaneously courting Heaven apart from the world It is not frantically studying or meditating in an effort to improve or save itself.

It is at rest because it knows – beyond question – that it is one with what is. Its peace and sureness are in a literal and experiential sense our own.

We make contact with the Holy Spirit – with the healed mind – simply through attention. For example, as you read, your attention is focused on this text. But if you look up and out the window, it naturally focuses on something else: a cloud, a tree, a robin, a barn.

This capacity to be attentive is not limited to what is external. If we close our eyes, we see that we can be attentive to our anger, our uncertainty, our happiness, our desire.

A student of A Course in Miracles learns by practicing the course that his or her attention does not have to wander aimlessly but can be directed.

You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind’s miscreations. The particular result does not matter, but the fundamental error does (T-2.VI.4:6-7).

The simplicity of this truth is our liberation. It is the essence of Lesson 34 – we can see peace instead of whatever anguish or sorrow or conflict we perceive. The power of replacement is entirely ours (W-pI.34.6:4).

Nothing has to be given up. Not one single thing in the external world needs to change. As we take responsibility for our attention we begin to experience the sense of peace and happiness that naturally attends those who decline to participate in the false drama of humanity. What is unnecessary will fall away without effort. Our lives will simplify naturally and without sacrifice.

This is not easy. But if you are ready to do it, then the difficulties are brief and surmountable. Give attention to attention. When it wanders from peace and joy, bring it back. You have every right – and even an obligation – to do this.

The Holy Spirit – our healed mind – is ever ready to assume its calm and gentle role as our guide. It attacks nothing because it is threatened by nothing. It knows only its relationship with what is holy and beyond words. Its unalterable peace awaits only our willingness to embrace it. Why not now?

Attention to Detail Equals Heaven

I am watching finches out the window as I write. They crowd the feeder: flashes of bright yellow, pale red, dusky brown. Obviously it is a finch conference. Or maybe God told them I need a bolt of loveliness to keep going today. Who knows? Who cares?

In their presence, I remember I am already happy.

goldfinch

When I was little, I couldn’t believe that goldfinches – well, lots of birds, but goldfinches in particular – actually existed. They were so beautiful! I missed the school bus once because I stopped to admire a group of them flitting around in the bushes. I forgot everything in the face of all that yellow.

Perhaps growing up is simply relearning the grace of our childlike priorities – or unlearning the chaos of our adult ones.

The disciples came to Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child to him, and set him in the middle of them, and said, “Truly I say to you: Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”

18 Matthew 1-3

We will receive as much help – as much grace – as much divine love – as we can accept. And it will arrive in the form that we are able to accept. Don’t worry about what’s happening in anybody else’s life – their ascended masters, their guardian angels, their followers, their status. Pay attention to your own experience. God is right there waiting. In every moment – without condition – God is there. Literally.

The form this “thereness” takes is quite irrelevant to the presence itself. In a way, the whole movement of our experience as students of A Course in Miracles is simply the shift away from a focus on form to a focus on content. It feels hard because it’s unfamiliar. But with practice its simplicity is natural and revelatory.

As nothingness cannot be pictured, there is no symbol for totality. Reality is ultimately known without a form, unpictured and unseen (T-27.III.5:1-2).

Our liberation begins when we stop expecting God on our terms and begin experiencing the divine presence as it is right now. That is not mystical hogwash. A Course in Miracles gently but firmly redirects our attention away from the external and toward the internal, where all decisions are made, including the one for inner peace. Get that and everything – even what appears externally – will follow.

That morning with the finches long ago, I had to take a later bus and so was late to school. I received a number of lectures about not dawdling, about how important school was, and how day-dreaming was just a form of laziness. Those adults were well-intentioned and even kind. And in a sense, they were right. It is important to show up for our lives, to meet our obligations and so forth.

But the question is always: to what is our attention directed?

Attention redeems us: it allows us to perceive the form but not stop at its temporal and spatial boundaries. We learn slowly to see beyond it – to what is outside time and space. In its presence, we remember that there is nothing to do and nowhere to go. We already have everything because the finches – like roses, like sunsets, like a bar of dark chocolate – are in us as we are in them. We are together and together we are home.

Radical Equality: A Spiritual Cornerstone

A Course in Miracles will not long tolerate our habit of self-debasement. If you glance at the table of contents in the workbook, you will see that one of its themes is our holiness and our loveliness and our perfection. We are blessed as children of God and our denial of this truth benefits nobody.

We are all part of the mind of God. There are no exceptions to this rule and there are no qualifications. So-and-so is not a bigger part of God’s mind than you are. This famous course teacher isn’t a brighter part of God’s mind and that student who is encountering the course for the first time is not a particularly dull part.

The radical equality of all God’s children is a cornerstone of the course. Not even Jesus is different in essence.

There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God (T-1.II.3:10-11).

The miracle is “a sign of love among equals” (T-1.II.3:4). Our perception of differences is contingent on time: some of us do appear to be further along the road to salvation than others. Yet even that appearance of imbalance is healing because its premise is our fundamental sameness.

The miracle substitutes for learning that might have taken thousands of years. It does so by the underlying recognition of perfect equality of giver and receiver on which the miracles rests (T-1.II.6:7-8).

It is not necessary to pretend that we are Jesus or Guru Nanak or Marianne Williamson or the reincarnation of a first generation follower of Buddha. What we are in truth is already a perfect and unchanging extension of God, of what is. There is no more for which we could ask. There is no more we could receive.

We demean ourselves when we project our inherent wisdom and peace and love onto others. The course asks us to accept our own wholeness, to make it the truth of our existence. Day by day it seeks to undo the internal blocks to our awareness of perfect love. It does not rebuild us but rather strips away dross and illusion. That undoing – that purification – is what the world needs from us. That is what our brothers and sisters need.

Lesson 61 asks us to consider – to accept at the deepest levels – that “I am the light of the world.”

This is a beginning step in accepting your real function on earth. It is a giant stride toward taking your rightful place in salvation. It is a positive assertion of your right to be saved, and an acknowledgment of the power that is given you to save others (W-pI.61.3:2-4).

If we make it an idea, then we have missed the point. If we say Jesus is the light and we are just aspiring shadows, then we have missed the point. The course states the truth about us now. When we accept less, we make small what God created perfectly immensely and vastly whole.

When we hide our light, we darken the path of those who need us. There is no time left to mess around or wait for some brighter future. We are the light of the world. We can shine: it is all we are asked to do.

On Reading Attentively

One of my personal struggles with A Course in Miracles always comes from the impulse to interpret it or assume that it does mean literally what it teaches. A contribution from me becomes essential to understanding. And where the egoic self insists on its own prerogative, God can only gently wait.

So I have to read carefully and slowly. I have to question what I read; I have to question my conclusions about the meaning of what I read. I have to beware of the inclination to assume I get it, or that I get it more than somebody else does. Whenever I start comparing myself to other ACIM students, or other spiritual seekers, it’s a sure sign that fear has entered my thinking. Confusion has entered my thinking.

That’s not a crime, of course. We aren’t called to suffer and do penance. But we are called to gentle correction which, in this instance, means a return to reading humbly, a return to reading with and not against the Holy Spirit.

Take, for example, this concept related to Perception and Knowledge.

All your difficulties stem from the fact that you do not recognize yourself, your brother or God (T-3.III.2:1).

That is clear, isn’t it? It does not equivocate. Each and every one of my problems arises from the fact that I do not presently remember what I am, what you are, and what God is.

And yet . . .

I read that sentence and at a very subtle level, a barely noticeable level, I add a qualifier. Internally, I insert “Almost” before “All.”

Why do I do that? Why do I qualify what is direct? Why do I cloud what is clear?

The answer is actually not very complicated. The sentence as written is clear: what needs solving is not the external problem, but the internal reference point from which and to which the problem appears. I need to learn to see you, me and God through the eyes of Christ (with Jesus, through the Holy Spirit’s lens, et cetera). The course insists that there is absolutely no source of conflict or anguish in my life that cannot be solved that way.

Thus, that line is the very essence of Lesson 34: “I could see peace instead of this.”

Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter. It must begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises (W-pI.34.1:2-4).

The self I believe I am – what A Course in Miracles calls “the ego” – cannot bear such clarity. It fears a terrible consequence, the course assures us will come to pass.

There are no strangers in God’s creation . . . God knows His children with perfect clarity. He created them by knowing them. He recognizes them perfectly (T-3.III.7:7, 9-11).

When I use “almost” to qualify “all,” I create a space for my own judgment to wreak its havoc. Now I have to decide which problems are a result of not knowing God and which are not. I introduce degrees and intervals. Is that clear? I have literally brought the separation from God into the sentence. I have fostered what Ken Wapnick rightly called level confusion (e.g. T-3.IV.1:5-6), and so I have closed myself off to the potential healing.

This is what happens when I am not careful and attentive in my reading. This is what happens when I am not humble. Thus, the imperative is always to slow down, to invite what is into my reading and study, and to be willing to learn according to its light-filled curriculum – and not the feeble substitute I make in the darkness of guilt and fear.