A Course in Miracles Lesson 35

My mind is part of God’s. I am very holy.

As the workbook points out, this lesson focuses on the perceiver – not on what is perceived. Thus, instead of dwelling on tables and trees and fish tanks and trying to change my mind about them, I know get to focus on me. The first time I saw those words, I could have danced. I was so happy to finally be getting the attention I deserved.

I sometimes feel that the genius of the Course is that it can be read in a way that the “I” and “You” are the physical egoic narrative self and – without changing a word – also as if “you” and “I” are simply parts of God. This lesson is obviously aimed at helping us transform from the former reading to the latter. I get to dwell on who I am – unappreciated, easily confused, arrogant, eloquent, greedy, whatever – and each time I do I get a gentle nudge that those lables – and the self to which they ostensibly apply – is not real, not who I really am.

Lately, this has been somewhat easier for me to handle than it was for a long time. Very early on in the Course I had some incredible experiences – I don’t mind calling them revelations – but then it settled into something more pedestrian. But this past month or so – in part because my focus and practice has intensified – I’ve begun to feel some more dramatic dismantling, less like I’m gonig to be treated to some fancy heavenly discoteque thing, and more like the ego┬áreally is being undone. The chatter is there but it just doesn’t have the kick and stability it used to have.

The other thing that’s been making sense to me – and which didn’t for the longest time – is that it doesn’t matter if the perception of myself is good or bad. They’re all equally untrue. For a long time – and it still happens – I believed that if I saw myself in a loving light it was superior to the alternative. But the thing is, you can’t make an illusion true by gussying it up. It’s either all false or all true. The particular perception of it can’t change that. So more and more – and this lesson is a great reminder – I find myself wondering what lies beyond all this “me me me” energy. You think you’ve got it kicked and then another subtle layer shows up. It’s a lot of work!

**

Worth nothing that the pace has been picking up lately. We are now up to fifteen minutes a day – thrice a day – with frequent applications during the day. I am trying to be faithful to this, without using the schedule to bludgeon myself when I slip. But it is clear that we are trying to change a way of thinking and that this is best done through repetition.

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Annie August 9, 2014, 5:12 am

    Well. All I can say is I’m delighted to have found, or been presented with, your writings. I just read somewhere else on your site that you too had gone through the lessons a third time, more slowly, as I am now doing. And whilst I hadn’t thought I needed any companionship in doing them, your writings have turned up in a very companionable manner. They have made me smile. I had thought I would stay with yesterday’s for an indefinite period, it was such a restful experience, but I’ve gone straight on to thus one. My mind is part of God’s, I am very holy. This lesson, on the previous two occasions, was a bit yeah, yeah, fine and also annoying because, well, I felt frustrated by it. Today not so much.
    Thanks for your helpfulness Sean. And your companionship.

    • Sean Reagan August 10, 2014, 7:13 am

      You’re welcome, Annie. And thank you, too.

      It’s a funny thing about the lessons. I have friends whose experience I trust and find helpful, who did the lessons once and that was it. But, for me, they have been a more contextual experience – they are part of my meeting the course and being met by it where I am, and thus – by extension – of remembering Love in a given moment. I am grateful for them, in that way.

      This whole thing – remembrance of the Love of which we are composed and from which we create – is in the nature of an unfolding, a vast beautiful and intricate unfolding and the lessons call my attention to this, and locate me in it, a crease among so many other lovely creases . . .

      Thank you for being here, Annie . . .

      Love,
      Sean

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